My thoughts on marriage are a little jaded because of my years working as an entertainer. It’s hard to fully believe in it when you see the way men with wedding rings on behave when their significant other isn’t there. It is also hard to have faith in it when you date someone who is separated that is clinging on to marriage like a security blanket in case their current relationship fails. What does give me hope is that my parents have been married for 30 years as of yesterday. Here’s the tea..
I was supposed to get married once. I ran away from it much like I did with most things in my life in my early 20’s. It was a decision that I looked back on with guilt for a long time. He was my best friend, but I didn’t see myself living where we were living forever.
I wanted the city life and he was content with where we were. He was practically the mayor of the town. All the neighbors loved him. He wanted me to be a nurse, I wanted to be anything else but that.
I was so conflicted in my life. I knew that if I didn’t do it my parents would be upset because they liked him so much. He was a great guy, but I just didn’t feel like it was forever. I didn’t want to be stuck in something because everyone else wanted me to do it.
At one point I really did want to go through with it and then reality set in.
My family was upset with me. The only one that seemed to understand me was my mom, most likely because she’s been married to my dad for years and knows how draining marriage can be. My dad is a good man, great provider, funny as shit, but boy can he suck the energy out of a room during the work week.
I am happy for my parents. They certainly are a rarity nowdays. They have companions for life and that is a wonderful thing.
Now let’s flip to the other side of the coin, my single friends. For some reason every single friend that I have is happy. They travel, they are successful, they may have someone they see here and there, but they live alone and genuinely seem fine with it. Not saying my married friends are unhappy, but they seem to be more weighed down sometimes.
One day I asked my most successful single friend if he would ever get married and he said NO! with no hesitation. “Why?” I asked.
“Because I like my house, I like my life, I like my energy and I have a good handle on how bitches operate. I’ve seen all my friends make the mistake. I’m not doing it.” he replied.
WOW! Those words shook me. I couldn’t even disagree. ‘Bitches do be bitches’… I wanted that confidence in my solitude.
Shortly after that day I knew I wanted to be alone. No kids, no husband, maybe a relationship if it was beneficial for both, but after that day I decided no one was taking my energy away from me unless I was willing to give it freely.
You can call it selfish or whatever you like, but I call it smart.
If you have a wonderful mutualistic symbiotic relationship with your partner, Good for you! Cherish that person! But now days relationships can become quite parasitic. One person is soaking up all the energy and the other person is left drained, unenthused and miserable.
I do not know anyone that wants to be a divorce statistic, but in today’s society it is almost inevitable.
Marriage is essentially a multi million-dollar business. Everyone has to get married and it’s freaking expensive!
Do NOT fall into the societal trap unless you know that the person you are with is forever, because divorce lawyers are also business people and they do very well for themselves too. #nowthatsthefuckingtea
Sidenote: Summer semester is in full swing, so I am cutting down on the blogging days to most of your dismay. I will be back on Friday to talk about TRUMP! Just kidding… but it will be something good. Wish me luck in this statistics class!