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CLO-SURE

New Readers Read Merry Christmas Cunts 1,2 to find out how I ended up in court.

I left Shwolf in June 2016, but officially knew I was over him and the back and forth December 8th, 2017. We had breaks in between the year and a half span where we did not speak at all for a month or two, but somehow he’d always end up back in my life. The months we did not speak I would think back to how things ended. Usually they were messy and full of drama. There was never a pleasant exchange before a break of not speaking. I longed for closure on this relationship. Every time I thought I had it a bomb would explode. Here’s the tea…

After the “Merry Christmas Cunts” incident I realized I was never going to get a peaceful ending. He had no interest in being my friend.

I’m sure if I kept sleeping with him I wouldn’t have ended up in civil court. He would have found some way to sidetrack Griselda, but since our relationship was no longer beneficial to him he had to pull his last card.

The night before I went to court I sat up in bed and thought about the year and a half I wasn’t even with him, but continued to play the game. For a whole year he lied about being in a relationship with someone else. I let him. For a whole year he dangled the dogs in front of me. I let him.

I was allowing these things to happen. It was no one else’s fault but my own. I decided whatever happened the next day was essentially my closure. That was the best I was going to get from him.

I did some crazy shit months before, and said some awful things, but I didn’t belong in a courtroom for stalking Shwolf I knew that much for sure. I thought back to when Griselda said she had me on a recorder saying I was going to kill her children and couldn’t help but feel it was a set up this whole time. Those words had never come out of my mouth… not even about Shwolf.

If making me out to be some crazed lunatic without provocation was what Shwolf had to do to protect himself then I guess that’s just how it had to be. I was done caring anymore.

My friend Isabella was there for me through all of the court drama.

Always willing to give an honest opinion, she said “Kash, Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m still trying to figure out how you ended up with someone like that. He should be thankful you even looked his way. Let that asshole go.” she said.

She was right.

As much as I wanted to go into that courtroom and call him a cowardly spineless dick, I didn’t do that. I hired a lawyer to handle it and left the courthouse feeling pretty good.

That was my closure. I finally got what I was looking for all that time from the legal system. A clean break and a win. No yelling, no violence. I was tired of being a pawn in the game.

I wanted to ensure that later on down the road there would be no chance he could ever contact me. I hired another lawyer to get him served with an order of protection in my county. I should have done it when I first moved out. My lawyer said I would have got it no problem with everything that I had.

I had all the evidence to prove emotional distress, abuse and possibly get an order; email after email (I screenshotted everything, so even after my email was hacked I still had all the good ones), police reports, death threats, third party contact from wives, ex girlfriends, and friends, text after text of mentally and emotionally damaging things, but I lacked the motivation to actually go through with it. Why?

I did not care anymore. I wasted enough time on this man that had served his purpose in my life already. We had a hearing date and I decided not to go.

Sure enough 45 minutes after I missed the scheduled hearing Griselda was on my LinkedIn after I blocked them on everything else. I had no desire to hear what she had to say.

The fact, she had kids and they were one big happy family no longer bothered me anymore, it used to tear me up inside knowing he was with someone with kids because of the nightmare we went through. Then I spent the summer at my girlfriend’s house with two kids under 5 years old…

I also realized I couldn’t just leave the house when my niece started crying if I was the only one home watching her.

That life is not for me, I know that for a fact.

The couple times Shwolf came over to my house at the end of 2017 he was tired and miserable as always, once again missing teeth.

“Why the fuck are your teeth falling out?” I asked him. “You knocked this one out, and I broke this one off chewing my food.” he replied. I felt like that was a lie. I envisioned Griselda punching him in the face. I hope that is what really happened.

I saw he got them fixed before court, so he wouldn’t look like such a complete hillbilly in front of the judge. At least something good came out of that for him.

I wish I could have seen his courtroom performance, but I unfortunately missed it.

As for the dog, I will miss him always, but he’s best with him as a tiny little reminder to not fuck with things you think can’t bite you back.

                                                                           *****

January 2, 2018 I got my closure and started my year. I no longer wanted revenge. I was tired of the game. I wanted peace.

After 2 years of non-stop drama it was finally over. I’ve been moving forward knowing all the decisions I made were what was best for me. It was a learning experience that I would not wish on anyone, but overall it made me a stronger, better person- capable of seeing my faults and controlling my actions and that is what I am truly grateful for. #nowthatsthefuckingtea

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