New Readers read: Barefoot in New Orleans, Who Exactly is This Terd, Dropping Asshole Clues, Nightmares 1,2,3, Wars 1,2 and Wicked Dick of the South
Shwolf and I weren’t feuding at this time, but I was still surprised he dropped whatever he was doing to come to my rescue. When I saw him in the lobby of the hotel I ran to him crying. I instantly felt bad for all the crazy shit I did to him even though he deserved most of it. “What the hell is wrong with you, Kash?” he said to me while hugging me. “UHHHH.. I got fucking robbed!!” I said pulling back from him. Here’s the tea…
He was bitching my ears off. He was in his glory.
“You shouldn’t be traveling alone! YOU’RE INSANE! What 27 year-old woman travels around by herself? IT’S WEIRD! You wanna end up dead?!” he was pacing back and forth.
He kept going on to the balcony to smoke cigarettes while I just laid on the bed and listened to him lecture me.
My head started to hurt. “Please stop yelling at me. I know I fucked up okay! You’re making me feel worse.” I started to cry.
He walked into the room. “Stop crying!! Please!” he said.
His attitude quickly shifted probably because he spent two whole months watching me cry everyday. He was probably sick of it. “Are you okay, Kash?” he asked.
“Yes. Thank you for coming to get me. I’ll never forget it.” I said. He sat down on the bed next to me. I was as vulnerable as I had ever been before in my life. He was like a knight in shining armor there to save me. He swooped right in for the kill. He kissed me. We both knew it was a mistake, but we just kept going with it anyway.
I was sucked back in. I knew it was wrong. I knew he was not the man for me, but I felt like I owed him something for coming to my rescue. So I played pretend girlfriend for two months, knowing he was talking to someone else.
He was with Griselda, taking her and her kids to basketball games while I sat at my apartment and waited for him to get done. This is what he wanted. He was grooming Griselda showing her what a wonderful “family guy” he was while his rotten ex “side-side chick” (ME!) was sitting at home watching the game like a puppet waiting for him.
I would get upset with him, but then have to remind myself we were not together. I was just confusing myself and being a total idiot.
He knew I felt indebted to him and that’s why I was allowing him to do this to me.
It didn’t bother me who he was dating as much as the fact she had two kids. It bothered me that after everything we went through he’d be so willing to jump into a relationship with someone with kids.
“They’re not my kids, Kash! I don’t pay for them to go to school. They don’t call me dad!” he said. “Yeah, I know, but it hurts me to see you running around with someone with kids after you basically threw me in the trash when I was pregnant with yours.” I cried.
“This isn’t about you! This has nothing to do with you!” he said. It didn’t matter what he said, it still made me feel like shit. He didn’t understand.
So because they are someone else’s kids, someone else is paying for them he can be around them, but didn’t want his own, more so, didn’t want his own with me. I obsessed over this to the point it made me sick. Talk about feeling worthless.
It hurt me so bad that I had to go through with an abortion only for him to turn around and date someone with kids. He knew it tore me up inside.
He felt guilty about it, so to make up for it he bought me court side tickets to the Heat/ Bulls game, he was buying me things and lending me money. There I was, wrapped back up in all the bullshit. He told me he was not speaking to Griselda anymore and like a fool I believed him.
It was a rainy November night when I decided I didn’t want to play the game anymore. I remember it was raining because I walked home in it thinking of how far I came with moving on and getting myself back only to be dragged back in; lied to and manipulated.
My mail was still coming to “the nightmare apartment” so I would check it at his house often. There was an open Christmas card sitting with the other mail. “Merry Christmas to Shwolf, Griselda, and kids.” It read, from his aunt. Jesus Christ this whole family moves fast! What a bunch of psychos! I had an urge to check the spare bedroom and make sure Griselda and the kids weren’t living in there.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” I yelled. “Why are you going through my mail!” he said. It was almost as if he left it there on purpose. “SHWOLF, GRISELDA AND KIDS?! I thought you weren’t talking to her! DO THEY LIVE HERE? Why do you always have to lie to me? She’s obviously met your family. This is more serious than you’re letting on.” I said.
“We stopped talking for a while. My aunt doesn’t know what goes on in my life.” He replied.
“Yeah, because you’re one big fucking mystery, Shwolf. DOES GRISELDA KNOW YOU’RE A MARRIED MAN?! I asked. “She’s not the type of woman who cares. She accepts me for who I am.” he replied. I almost threw up. You have got to be fucking kidding me.
“She OBVIOUSLY does not fucking know you! Enjoy Griselda and the kids. I can’t do this with you anymore.” I turned to leave.
“If you walk out that door I’m never speaking to you again, Kash!” he yelled after me. I left. No violence, minimal yelling– I was done; I couldn’t let this man hurt me anymore. I was letting it happen. It was my fault.
I wanted to speak to Griselda to warn her about what a liar Shwolf was and hear her side of things so I could confirm for myself what I already knew. He was a pig.
I got her number from an unlikely source. They gave it to me because if what I was saying was true, they didn’t want to see Griselda get hurt too, especially with kids involved.
I did not want to argue with her. I just wanted the truth that I would never get out of Shwolf. According to him they weren’t talking. I called her….
“Hi Griselda, This is Kash. I just wanted to ask you a few things.” I said. “Do you know that Shwolf is married?” I asked.
“Yes, I know everything. Shwolf tells me everything and he is my man, so you leave him alone or I will beat your ass.” she said.
I choked on my water. This woman was beyond brain washed. This is exactly what Shwolf was looking for…. “Someone who had his back” even if he was running around like a scumbag.
I remembered how I was about Shwolf when I first started dating him. I felt sorry for her. She had no idea what she was in for.
I wanted to tell her everything that he did to me, but I knew he had already filled her head with lies about how awful I was like he did to me about his wife and ex-girlfriend. Instead, I just wanted to get off the phone. Her stupidity was making me ill.
“Okay, well that’s great. You’re a real self-respecting wonderful woman to know he’s married from the start and be okay with it.” I hung up on her.
DING– text message from Griselda.
“AND IM PREGNANT SO YOU TAKE YOUR ASS BACK TO CHICAGO!” it read.
I immediately called Shwolf. “She’s pregnant?!” he started laughing. “No! What? You’re both nuts!” he said.
He loved this! Ugh, he disgusted me! New Orleans went out the window. He was such a scumbag. Everything we went through and he was just going to let this dumbass girl mock me like that? Even worse sit there and laugh about it?! She was just as shitty of a person as he was.
I texted her that she was a drug mule and told her I was going to call immigration on her illegal ass while I was on the phone with him.
“How insensitive could she possibly be?” I said. “What have you been telling her about me?!” I shouted. “You called her a drug mule, Kash.” he said. After the fact!
He was using her as a tool against me. Mocking someone about a pregnancy that was very traumatic and painful situation is a lot worse than calling someone a drug mule, unless of course she actually was one.
They could have each other. They were both trash. #nowthatsthefuckingtea