Kash Kuery: Why can’t you just tell the whole damn story? Why do you have to make us wait? – Many Readers
Because it keeps you coming back the next day!!! Welcome back! I won’t make you wait until Thursday. Here is part 2 of Zika Infested Wynwood.
I walked over to his ex- girlfriend and said “HELLO!” and kissed her on the cheek while looking at him. “I knew this was going to happen” his ex girlfriend said. Most likely meaning they were going to run into me. Well, DUH!
I then walked over to Shwolf like I was going to hug him, but instead knocked the stupid dusty ass hat I always hated off of his peanut head, exposing his head to the whole bar. When he bent over to pick the hat up I should have shoved my Louboutin in his mouth, but I didn’t. #selfcontrol
“BYE!!” I said as I skipped away and out the door. My friends followed. “Who was that guy?” one of them asked. “That was the boner.” I replied, high on adrenaline still.
“That was your ex? You actually dated that guy?” he asked. It used to bother me when people would say things like that to me when we were together. I was too blinded by love for who I thought he was to be superficial like that, but by that time I saw him how everyone else did- A miserable looking toad in a stupid hat.
I was pretty proud of myself. I was skipping down the sidewalk with glee when I tripped over a crack and skinned my knee. My knee was gushing blood. Instant karma.
In a matter of seconds I was brought back down to earth. I realized I had let my emotions once again get the best of me.
“MOTHER FUCKER!” I yelled “I have to leave.” I told my friends and got an uber.
“Wait I’m coming with you!” one of the guys yelled. He came to my place. I gave him the back-story of why I did what I did at the bar to Shwolf.
He found it hilarious and told me not to “beat myself up” over it.
He was sitting on my couch when Vito came up and sat on his lap. Vito hated guys, so I thought it was cute he was sitting with him. I took a photo of the guy with Vito.
I put the photo on some form of social media captioned ‘Vito has a new dad’ as a joke and sure enough like clockwork Shwolf was at my apartment bright and early in the morning in his track suit gym outfit ready to beat some ass.
“Why would you post a picture like that?” he cried after entering my apartment. “Is he still here?” he asked. I just looked at him. This guy was seriously grilling me after last night.
The guy had left the night before because they were golfing early, but there was Shwolf the morning after I just saw him at the bar with his ex-girlfriend standing in my kitchen.
“How was your trip, Asshole?” I sarcastically asked because I now knew he had lied about going out of town.
“How was I supposed to know of all places you were going to end up in Zika infested Wynwood?!?” he yelled.
“But with her? All the shit you talked about her… What do you say about me Shwolf? I’m curious, because you have nothing good to say about anyone, so what do you say about me?” I asked.
“NOTHING!!! Just that we didn’t work out.” he replied. Another lie, but ok.
“What are you doing here, Shwolf? Shouldn’t you be getting back to your place? I’m sure she will be waking up soon and you’re here.” I said.
He took two steps towards me, but they weren’t aggressive steps. He was standing close to me. He reached for my robe string and backed me up against the wall. He was trying to hook up with me.
This son of a bitch was out of his damn mind. “Get the fuck out of here!” I pushed him away from me. “You honestly think you’re going to sleep with me right now after I just saw you with your ex-girlfriend last night?” I asked. “You really think I am fucking stupid don’t you?” I yelled.
“She went home last night. She didn’t stay with me.” he said. Knowing him that was most likely a lie, but either way he needed to leave. His desperation for any form of female attention sickened me to the core.
I pushed him out the door and slammed it shut. I watched him through the keyhole pace back and forth until he realized I was serious and not opening the door for him to come back in again. He finally left.
Well, his ex girlfriend is definitely not to be trusted, and he seriously has some balls coming here thinking he was going to get laid like that. I was beyond offended.
Disgusted, I thought back to what he said about Zika infested Wynwood. He can hang out in Zika infested Wynwood because he is The Zika Virus. I closed both curtains making my place completely dark and went upstairs back to bed.
A few days later I got a call from him that his Uncle had passed. He was going to New York for the funeral. Unfortunately I didn’t care for his mother very much, but I sent condolences and asked him if he needed me to go with him for support. “No, I have someone going with me, don’t worry about it.” he said. Curious I asked who. “None of your business.” he replied.
Well, it could really only be two people; Fiona or Griselda. Neither of which I cared because they weren’t doing a good enough job of distracting him from bothering me.
“Well ok, I’ll watch the dog for you!” I said. “No, I don’t need you to do anything, Kash.” he said. I was confused as to why he even called me because I had no clue who his uncle even was. He just wanted me to know he was going to New York with someone.
“Who is watching the dog then?” I asked, as he continued to talk about his New York trip. “It doesn’t matter, Kash. She is not your dog!” he yelled.
My feelings were hurt, she wasn’t my dog, but for a year straight I had taken care of both dogs morning and night, now I wasn’t even good enough to watch the dog when he went out of town.
He wanted me to get jealous he was bringing someone to New York with him, but I was more angry about who was watching the dog. I could go to New York anytime I wanted on my own without a negative drone sucking the joy out of the trip. Shwolf hung up on me frustrated that I was more concerned with who was watching the dog than who he was going on a trip with.
I called my friend Brandon in New York and told him about the drama. He was just like Shwolf, but my friend, so he would tell me the motives behind things that he would do to me. Besides that he was absolutely hilarious, so I enjoyed talking to him. “Fly up and see me girl. Let’s crash the funeral.” he joked. He was such an asshole and I loved it.
“Seriously though, he is going with someone. He doesn’t want you watching the dog because if you find out he’s there with another woman he thinks you won’t give the dog back.” he said.
“Yeah, but I really don’t care. I told him to get on Tinder and start dating. I don’t understand why he would board the dog when I would just watch her for him.” I said.
“He’s pissed that you don’t care, so he’s doing anything he can to hurt you. He probably doesn’t even like the girl. Wanna piss him off and ruin his trip? Send him this.” he said.
He sent me a dick pick of his penis next to a Comcast remote. “OH MY GOD!” I said, his penis and the remote were the same size. “It’s YUGE BABY, IT’S YUGE! Now aren’t you regretting not sleeping with me?” he asked. I laughed, ‘If I send him this he’s never going to speak to me again.”
“This is the game he wants to play.” Brandon said. “Send it!” So I did………. #nowthatsthefuckingtea