I called him at noon. “Are you coming home for dinner?” I asked. “I can’t be around you right now, Kash!” he replied. Probably because he just got all wacked out with his friends. He did not want to hear it from me. Understandable. This was just a preview as to what I was in for if I decided to stay in Miami and go through with it. Here’s the tea…
I left the house around 3PM to take the dogs to the park and get them food. I left my phone in the car because I just wanted to escape my life for a while. Spending time with the dogs made me happy. Watching them run and play happily despite what was going on put me at ease.
I lost track of the time. Feeling a little better I returned to my car and looked at my phone. I had 10 missed calls and 2 voicemails from Shwolf.
“ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE, KASH! I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY DOGS?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY DOGS?!” he screamed. I started to cry. I was crying over pretty much everything now. I called him back. My sadness shifted to rage.
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” he said.
“I TOOK THE DOGS TO THE PARK YOU CRAZY FUCK. I SHOULD REALLY TAKE THEM AND DISAPPEAR LIKE YOU DID ON ME LAST NIGHT!” I said. “HOWS THE HERD? HOW CAN PEOPLE DO SO MUCH COCAINE AND STILL BE FAT?” I screamed. “Fuck you, Kash” he replied.
“I’LL BE HOME IN 10 MINUTES AND YOU BETTER FUCKING KILL ME!” I screamed.
My hands gripped the steering wheel. My knuckles turned white. My teeth hurt from clenching my jaw so hard. I arrived at our building and ran over the curb. I threw the car in park for the valet guy. I grabbed both of the dogs, I didn’t have time for them to walk on their own. The valet guy started to walk towards me saying something. “NO THANKS!” I yelled at him and walked into the building like a mad woman holding a dog under each arm.
“THIRTIETH FLOOR PLEASE!!!!” I shouted at the front desk people. I could see them look at each other with concern and confusion, but they let me into the elevator anyway.
I busted into the apartment. My happy day with the dogs was now over.
He’s going to kill me after everything he’s put me through? Not today. He wanted crazy, so that’s what I decided to give him.
His favorite pair of Jordan’s, right there in front of me. I picked them up.
He turned around on the couch and put his hands up to shield his head. He thought I was going to throw them at him. I marched on to the balcony, tied the laces together, said a prayer some homeless guy would find them and threw them off the balcony.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING! THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE JORDANS!” he screamed. “YOU WANNA KILL ME?” I picked up the I-Pad and smashed it onto the floor. “STOP!” I picked it up again and threw it down the hallway. “AHHHHHHHH” I screamed. Next, I walked over to the coffee table and smashed an ashtray into pieces. I would have flipped the table over if it wasn’t so heavy. The neighbors were calling on us tonight for sure and I did not care.
I was on my way to hang from the theater projection screen and rip it out of the ceiling when he stopped me. “I’m sorry I said that. I thought you took the dogs because I left last night!” I wanted to smash his ugly face into the table next.
I almost felt like he enjoyed watching me do this. It fed into the story he was telling people about me. I could just hear one of The Sheep asking what happened to the I-Pad and Shwolf, trying to control his boner, telling them “Crazy Kash broke it in one of her rages.”
“Do you not realize I am pregnant, Shwolf?” I cried.
“What are we going to do? Move back to New York or Chicago? We have no help here for two babies. We can’t even handle two dogs. Besides, my mother wouldn’t want me back in New York. I can’t get dragged back into that life.” he said.
HE WAS LYING! What a psychopath! “WHAT LIFE? YOUR FAKE JOE MAFIA LIFE?” My hands started to shake. I told him I spoke to his wife. The color drained from his face. He got up and walked around the couch. He picked up a plate and smashed it against the wall. And so The War begins… #nowthatsthefuckingtea