The most “normal” relationship I have ever had was with Web Cam Willy (refer to Is Web Cam Porn Cheating?) I hate the word “normal” because everyones perspective of what is normal is different. From society’s stand point my most normal relationship was with him. We had a great relationship minus the porn issue. Every relationship has problems, but that was one that I could not get past. It is unfortunate because he really was a good person.
I think I have dated men that have each taught me something very important about myself. Little Bosnia made it easier for me to spot “fuck boys”. WCW showed me that if I am unhappy with something and it is not being corrected- I will cheat. Mo showed me I am capable of taking care of myself without dancing. Shwolf brought out a malicious, vindictive side of me that I did not know existed. Big T showed me that I am able to care for someone unconditionally and not actually be in a relationship with him.
I am a firm believer that you attract who you are as a person. Judging from the people that I have been with I am a good person with some deep-seated issues. Dating Shwolf made me face this. How could I attract someone like this? I remember asking myself at the end of our relationship. It really made me dive deep to the root of my own inner issues.
Once you understand what it is you need to do to become a better person it is easier to grow and try to become that person. I wish I did not have to go through what I went through to find this out, but sometimes that is just how life works out.
As far as dancing goes I quit while I was with Mo and Shwolf, so they never had to deal with it. WCW hated it, but I paid half of the bills so he could not really complain too much. Little Bosnia used it to his advantage and Big T just encourages me to do better.
Bottom line is it is very hard to maintain a relationship in this industry if that person genuinely cares for you. It’s a choice of relationship or independence and I choose independence every time. Until I am the very best version of myself I will remain single.