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Mo: Captain Save a Ho

“Hey, What’s up? Would you like a dance?” I said

“No, I don’t do lap dances.” He replied

“Well, I don’t know what the hell you’re doing here then.” I said as I turned to walk away. “You can sit and have a drink with me.” he said pulling a $100 bill out of his pocket and placing it on the bar. I already had 5 drinks in the back cabinet of the dressing room stock piled waiting for me. I didn’t need another drink, but I wanted the $100.

Here’s the tea…

I was 24 years old and working at Polekatz. I worked the day shift there because it was easy. Back in the day it was very good! I would work from 3-8PM and leave with nightshift weekend money. It was great! If I was feeling extra motivated I would stay into the night and double my profit for that day.

The night I met Mo was one of those motivated days. I was drinking a lot in this stage of my life. Chardonnay and peach schnapps was my drink of choice. I would order a drink with every customer. If I didn’t drink it all I would put it in the back cabinets for later consumption or if a coworker just got to work and needed a drink I’d give her one from my stash. I was like a squirrel hiding nuts, only a stripper hiding a wine and hard liquor concoction that would put anyone else on their ass after one.

“I see you running around this club hustling. There are 10 people here, Habibti. Sit down and relax for a minute.” he said. I could not sit and relax. Night shift girls were getting there and I needed to get dances out of these 9 other people. “Where are you from?” I asked trying to make conversation. “I’m Palestinian and Jordanian,” he said. Uh oh, I thought to myself. Hearing all the horror stories from other girls about the Arab guys they dealt with in the club. We chatted for 4 songs, which is about the equivalent of $100. I excused myself so I could go run around like a psychopath to get more dances. “Come back, I’ll be here”, he said.

It was around midnight. I had made my quota and consumed entirely too much to drink. I walked around to the back of the bar to go check out in the office. He was still sitting there. I walked up to him friendlier than before because I made my money and I was pretty drunk. I’ll sit with him for a little while and sober up I thought, he was easy to talk to. Before I knew it I was taking shots with him and his friends- BOOM! Blackout.

I wish I could tell you what happened in between. All I know is the strip clubs night shift manager took my keys, which was probably the smartest thing ever and they called me a cab. Only I didn’t take the cab. I went home with my new friend Mo. Everyone saw me leave with him and I was to drunk to care. That is an absolute violation of club rules and I broke them without giving a fuck, because I didn’t even know my own name.

The next morning I woke up in a bed that was not my own and I was terrified. Mo’s head popped up from the floor. “AHHHHHH! What happened?” I said. “Nothing, you were really drunk and crying. I offered to take you home, but you said you didn’t know where you lived.” he said. Typical. I looked down at the floor. He just had a sheet and a pillow. “Why are you on the floor?” I asked. “You made me sleep here. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. You were pretty drunk last night.” he said. “You wouldn’t stop crying.” I apologized to him for making him sleep on the floor in his own house.

I got out of bed and started to look for my things. “Where are my keys?” I asked. “They took them from you.” he said. A feeling of dread came over me. I had always looked at other girls getting their keys taken away for getting to drunk like they were morons. I never thought I would be that girl. I had to go get my keys now. Luckily I would only have to face my daytime manager. I knew if I was in trouble he wasn’t really going to say anything. He used to turn all the lights off in the office and sit there in the dark, so no one would bother him. I could have run my car through the front doors and he still would not have said anything to me. It was the nighttime manager I was worried about.

Mo took me to breakfast and I learned more about him,  this time sober. He was actually really interesting, but I was so ready to get my car and face my consequences I didn’t engage in much conversation. He dropped me off at the club after to get my keys. I walked into the office and the manager just pointed at my keys on the corner of his desk. Embarrassed, I put the keys in my purse and tried to hurry out. Before I could get out of the office he shouted at me “Hey Melrose, Lay off the fucking sauce!” half joking, half serious and just kept mumbling other obscenities not entirely directed at me, but in general. Maybe I wasn’t in as much trouble as I thought…

I got in my car and looked at my phone. I had a text from Mo. “I like you. Come see me again?” I felt little butterflies, I liked him too. #nowthatsthefuckingtea

To be continued…

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