Meeting eclectic, odd, often-times bizarre people is an occupational hazard for a stripper. Meeting someone named “Dr. Frankenfurter” (who I will refer to as the “Doc”) certainly met all of the aforementioned criteria, and then some. (For more info. On the doc, read my earlier posts Making a Stripper 1&2). Warning: This one is not for the prudes, so Mom, love you, but stop right here.
The most interesting about the Doc was this “show” about which he kept telling me I had to see. Intrigued, I called my good friend and fellow erotic arts dancer, Tatiana. I trusted Tatiana. She was the yin to my yang. I saw a lot of myself in Tatiana. Like me, she wasn’t into much of the extracurricular activities in which many of the other girls engaged.
I told Tatiana I met the Doc. Her response: “OMG, we have to see ‘the Show’ together!” Clearly Tatiana had gone to the show, was still alive, and had both kidneys. Therefore, how bad could it be?
Fast forward a few days later, at approximately 11:00 p.m., I pulled up to bachelor style house occupied by a guy named Rocky. Rocky had photos of he and his girlfriend displayed in the house. There was no way she lived there, the house was clearly decorated by Rocky. In other words, there was no décor.
Dr. Frankenfurter stood there near the couch with a wine glass. “You’re going to need a drink, Melrose.” he said looking at Tatiana. She smiled at me. Oh boy- I thought, simultaneously grabbing the bottle and glass from his hands to pour my own drink—inspecting the glass for any chemicals that could knock me out (as if I even knew what I was looking for). After small talk (ugh), Dr. Frankenfurter said he was going to go change. Change? Change into what??? At this point, I had combined visions of Dexter. Hostel and Eyes Wide Shut running through my brain all at once.
After about 10 minutes, the Doc yells “I’m ready!” I walked into the hallway and there was the Doc, dressed in a black lacy nighty and stiletos. I did not know whether to laugh or run for the front door. While still stunned at the nighty and stilettos, I immediately imagined the Doc grabbing an axe and charging at me. This was the end for me. I was victim to some sick homoerotic sex fantasy between these people! I was lured here to my death!
Snap back to reality, there was no axe. Instead, I was left with the Doc dressed in drag doing a catwalk strut right in front of me, with the same sadistic smile he had painted on his face at the club. He was proud of himself! I could hear Tatiana rooting him on from the living room. I stood there frozen. Why is this happening? From what I knew this man is married and a lawyer. Lawyers don’t do this kind of shit! (For the record, lawyers engage in all sorts of demented sexual antics, so I’ve found. Of all occupations lawyers are among the highest in terms of sociopathy)
All the while, Tatiana was in her glory! She was dancing in the living room right along with Doc and Rocky, who was also thrilled with the mini erotic, drag queen show that was taking place. Once I processed what was happening, I was able to calm down and walk back into the living room. Eventually, the Doc summoned me to the bedroom where what happened next was beyond anything I could have imagined before arriving there.
Once in the bedroom, Tatiana and I sat in chairs and shared WTF glances back and forth. The Doc and Rocky were putting on a drag queen show for us! I remember telling them to do things to each other and laughing hysterically. They weren’t comfortable with EVERYTHING, so don’t think I’m sitting there drinking wine watching these two dudes go at it, that wasn’t the case.
That said, I did take polaroids of them simulating sex positions, and I remember Rocky’s closing trick of ejaculating in his own mouth. Yes. That’s what I said… I’d never seen anything like this. This was a SHOW! A show I was paid to see and would forever be outlined, not exactly engrained for PTSD purposes, in my hippocampus.
Once Rocky ejaculated in his own mouth, there really wasn’t much else they could do. The Doc and Rocky wanted to perform for all of our friends. In fact, the Doc told me his dream was to perform in front of a group of 20-30 women. Ultimately, these were just two straight guys that liked to “perform” with each other and be laughed at by women. This is a thing.
The Doc and I developed a friendship. The Doc lives a double life, trapped between what society wants him to do, and what he really wants to do. There was a sadness to him. Don’t get me wrong, this was a mutually beneficial friendship. I would bring my friends for a set fee, and he would fulfill his fantasies of being made fun of and bossed around in front of a group of women wearing women’s clothing. The strippers I brought treated this like a simple business transaction. My non-stripper friends, however, had a great time and wanted to get involved in the show! The Doc is a respected member of his community, and of you met him in the “real world”, you’d never know he liked to dress in women’s clothing and perform for other women, A person’s job title and place in the community means nothing. If they’re a freak.. They’re a FREAK! #NOWTHATSTHEFUCKINGTEA
*Ryan this one is for you… I know it’s your favorite in my vault.